Self-Introduction Letter
Self-Introduction
Good day Professor Blackstone,
My name is Khant, and I am a freshman attending your critical thinking and communicating module. I had thoroughly enjoyed my time at Ngee Ann Polytechnic and graduated with a diploma in mechanical engineering. This was one of the reasons that led me to further pursue mechanical engineering in SIT.
I was initially fascinated by the hardware side of engineering and my love for software developed afterwards. When I first moved to Singapore, my young self was in awe of the concrete jungle that I would call home. My programming class in my first year of polytechnic sparked my passion for programming, showing me that the sky was the limit. Thus, I chose mechanical engineering as it combined both subfields.
I would attribute my abilities to adapt, take initiative and step outside of my comfort zone as key factors that have led me to where I am now. During my tenure as an intern and a soldier, I stepped up to address and communicate the growing grievances between my colleagues and superiors. As tensions cooled, they were more willing to offer help and provide feedback to improve our work life. Most of them pointed out the inefficiencies in handling data sheets due to the lack of formulas and macros. Writing several lines of formulas and macros for them also helped hone my craft in programming as I would have otherwise not been aware of them.
Though I have made significant strides in communication, I am still plagued with a stutter and the inability to convey my thoughts in a concise manner. This hampers my ability to speak to large crowds, as I am often full of ideas but lack the practice and know-how to properly articulate them.
My current goals for this module are to overcome my stutter and be more coherent. I believe I am in good hands, as I am under the guidance of a professor who possesses both passion and enthusiasm for his module.
Yours Sincerely,
Linn Htoo Khant
Clarity:
ReplyDeleteStrength:
The entire email was easy to understand and supported with accurate representations.
Precision:
Strength:
The email was concise with just the right amount of details, not too wordy, and was a breeze to read.
Accuracy
Strength:
Generally, there are no errors in grammar or language that I see.
Significance:
Strength:
I feel that the letter is significant as through this letter, I was able to learn more about you.
Relevance:
Strength:
All information presented in the letter was generally relevant to the letter's objective.
Completeness:
Strength:
Generally complete, but parts that I've stated below in the weakness may need more explanation.
Weakness:
Maybe provide some evidence of instances where you stuttered as well as your inability to convey your thoughts concisely.
I think you may have missed out on one of the specifications of the introductory letter. Specifically” What differentiates you from others (or, the steps toward a personal brand)”.
Logicalness:
Strength:
The letter was written logically, I was able to understand it easily.
Fairness:
Strength:
Generally, I feel that the letter was fair in terms of transparency where the strengths and weaknesses are well presented.
Breadth:
Strength:
You can draw from a huge amount of experience to provide evidence for your points, thus I feel that there is a good amount of breadth in the letter.
Depth:
Strength:
You often provided evidence to help readers understand the point better, which I felt provided depth to an otherwise shallow point with no further explanation or evidence
Thank you for your report style feedback!
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ReplyDeleteHey Khant! You've provided a strong overview of your journey and challenges, and it's clear that you're committed to self-improvement. I'd like to offer some constructive feedback.
ReplyDeleteFor your first paragraph, I think you could bring the last sentence into your second paragraph, seeing how the second paragraph goes into the detail of your reason to pursue mechanical engineering degree in SIT.
For the third paragraph, it's great to see that you were able to put your knowledge and IT skills into good use under uncomfortable situations. I really admire your willingness to take initiative and stepping out of your comfort zone!
For the fourth paragraph, I can relate to your inability to convey thoughts, as I myself struggle to speak my thoughts often. Overall your letter is great, very relatable! Keep up the good work!
Thanks for your feedback Andy! I see your point for the second paragraph, but I wanted to include why I joined the degree in SIT after the previous sentence.
DeleteHi Ernest, thanks for your feedback! You're right, I could have been clearer with my particular experience, which happened in the army. I had other experiences during my internship, but decided not to include them so as to keep my letter concise.
ReplyDeleteDear Khant,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this interesting and informative letter. You provide fairly clear explanations in most areas of the assignment, elaborating in your own impassioned manner.
I appreciate, for instance, how you describe your evolving interest in engineering in general and programming/softaware in specific and how that was spawned by "the concrete jungle." What I would like to know in an updated draft is which part of that initial experience in Singapore really spawned your interest. Was it a teacher, math or science or computer classes, or what? You could do a deeper dive to explain your evolution.
It never fails to amaze me how as children we process these sorts of experiences and make use of them as we move toward the goals of young adulthood.
You also do a good job of reflecting on your comm sklls and then proposing what you need to do to up your competencies. At the same time, I would like to see you provide a bit more context for you stepping out of your comfort zone. That coud include a bit more detail in terms of the internship you had, your job in NS, and/or a recounting of the actual conflict that you mention.
If there is anything else to work on in a 2nd draft, it might be a bit more of an explanation of the story you are sharing that includes "formulas and macros."
Again, I truly appreciate the effort put into this fine introduction, and I look forward to learning more from you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad